The One Strong Mother Podcast

Balancing Motherhood: Stepping out of the Hustle Culture and in to a More Strategic and Balanced Approach

• Ashley Mussyal and Charlie Sheamansmith

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Welcome to another empowering episode of One Strong Mother, where we dig into the realities of motherhood and the constant battle between the relentless culture of hustle and the necessity of rest. Ever been caught up in the whirlwind of daily chores while yearning for the calm serenity of your grandma's pace of life? We understand that struggle and invite you to join us in a candid conversation about balancing life's demands, tuning out the social media noise, and embracing the wisdom that comes with age.

Pushing through or taking a step back, how do we decide? Let's dive into that conundrum as we converse about the role of physical activities and hormones on our bodies. We share insights on how something as simple as a walk can negate mental and physical exhaustion, and why it's essential to honor your body's uniqueness rather than getting swayed by unsolicited advice. We promise, this chat will empower you to make wiser decisions about your wellbeing.

Finally, we discuss the art of listening to our bodies and the magical concept of D-load weeks. Say goodbye to burnout as we enlighten you about the wonders of rest and the role supplements can play in maintaining your health. So lean back, take a deep breath, and tune in for an engaging episode that will guide you in balancing the hustle with rest. Remember, you're one strong mother, and it's okay to press pause when needed. Until next time, embrace the beautiful chaos of motherhood with us on One Strong Mother.

P.S. 
Don't forget to SUBSCRIBE here to stay up to date on the release of our new course "The One Strong Mother Pelvic Floor Rehab", and also for a chance to win our monthly give away.

Speaker 1:

Hey, welcome to the One Strong Mother podcast, the show dedicated to empowering and inspiring moms just like you to embrace strength, balance and well-being in the beautiful chaos of motherhood. We're your hosts, charlie and Ashley, fellow moms, on this incredible journey together. Each week, we'll dive into candid conversations, expert insights and real-life stories that explore the many facets of modern motherhood From pelvic floor rehab to nutrition, from stress management to self-care. We're here to provide you with the tools, wisdom and encouragement you need to thrive as an individual while nurturing your family. So, whether you're listening, well, on a quick coffee break or during those precious moments of solitude, know that you're part of a vibrant community of One Strong Mothers. Together, we'll navigate the challenges, celebrate victories and empower each other to become the strong, resilient women we were all born to be. Thank you for joining us today and, without further ado, let's dive into today's episode.

Speaker 1:

What's up, ladies? Welcome back to another podcast episode of One Strong Mother, your favorite podcast. Thank you so much for sharing your time with us. We truly, truly value you guys being here and just that lovely coffee talk and just hanging out with your favorite hosts. I'm so excited today because you're finally getting an episode with me and Charlie. It's finally not me by myself. There is two of us that actually exist on this podcast, and you know what we climbed through hoops to make it happen today. We've been beaten down with technology issues. We worked all day, but we're here, and we're here to chat with you and today's conversation is going to be a whole lot of fun. But before we dive into that conversation, we're going to let Charlie say hi, this is her first time podcasting. I am pushing her out of her comfort zone, so let's give a warm welcome to Miss Charlie.

Speaker 2:

Hello everyone. Hopefully you're having a wonderful day today and, as Ashley said, we are just been beaten up today, but you know what. We're here for everybody today, so I hope you enjoy today's episode and let us know if you have any questions about anything.

Speaker 1:

Heck, yeah, leave us, leave us reviews, leave us all the questions and then over time we will definitely create episodes that tie those questions back in. Maybe we can do like a Ask Me Anything series where you guys submit the questions and we will definitely cover new topics and what we want to talk about For today. I thought it would be a really fun topic to talk about. Kind of this kind of goes hand in hand with, like that whole hustle culture and people should be on the go, like if you have a goal you're working for, you're on the go, you're hustling. You should hustle hard all the time.

Speaker 1:

But I think that something that's not talked about is when to actually override, like when do you listen to your body and when do you override your mind. And there's a balance that has to happen with that whole mentality and understanding, like when it's necessary to override the mind, but also understanding when your body truly and genuinely needs a break, whether that is from working out, whether that's from business, like when is it time to take a vacation, when is it time to step away, when is it time to stop working out, when is it time to ignore the desire to stop working out and push yourself through that next lift or push yourself through that next work, entrepreneurial goal, motherhood goal, like there's so many ways. There's so many ways that the hustle culture kind of invades our life and I think it's really important for moms to really take a step back and look at both ends and truly understand and dissect the emotional impact and like when to override those things.

Speaker 2:

Absolutely.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, so here we are.

Speaker 2:

So one that caught me off guard the other day, Ashley is. I had a patient talk about how she's always on the go with her kids and she was loading up her kids in the car and she was like, hey, you hold this, you do this, I need you to do this. And they were very hungry and tired and they wanted to go home and she had four kids. And then we had her by chance. Look at another grandma who was with her grandkids and they were loading groceries up in the car and the grandma literally stopped, got out juice boxes for her grandkids and just sat there and told stories and laughed. What an interesting way of looking at the physical aspect of just taking a down moment.

Speaker 1:

Versus the mom who's in the thick of it is like let's go, come on everybody in the car.

Speaker 2:

Absolutely.

Speaker 1:

Age is always on our side, right Like. You get wiser as we get older and leave it to grandmothers to know when to slow down.

Speaker 2:

Absolutely, and that's just a, you know, just one moment in the day that you know those kids are going to remember that for the rest of their life, that grandma took that time. But we as moms, sometimes we have to look at when we have that down moment for ourselves and all too often we're always on the go and we do need to take a look at that moment, you know whether to override it or just allow it to continue.

Speaker 1:

For sure, for sure, there are so many times that I wish I could go back. And it's an interesting balance, because when I think about like in my own house, I get really, I feel really claustrophobic if there is a lot of clutter or a lot of dishes, like I cannot go to bed without the dishes done. But then there are phases where I just look at the dishes and I'm just like I am just going to choose to take a step back, like I literally don't have the capacity. They'll be there in the morning when I get back. So it's weird because, like, some nights I have it and some nights I'm like absolutely not. I am not starting my morning in defense mode with dishes in the sink and then some more. Some days I'm just like, oh, it's fine. Like I have like so much more grace in my heart for those kind of things.

Speaker 1:

But it took me a long time to get there to where I was able to just step back. But also like with my kids the same thing, where I'm like just constantly like, hurry up, let's go, let's go, let's go. For what? Like, what? Are we going to get there five minutes faster? Probably, probably not.

Speaker 2:

And why are we adding this stress to our world? You know where we just can't think through things correctly. We put that stress on our kids that they are always needing it to be on the go as well. I mean, granted, there is times you know, like we were talking about at the very beginning is when do you override those things? And I feel like the overriding sometimes you really have to look at the aspect of when is it necessary and when is it not necessary, like for you. You know, like you mentioned in the morning, sometimes you just like I don't want to start off my day in this weirdness because of all the other tasks I have to get throughout the day. So why not get a task done?

Speaker 2:

But, are they truly necessary to be done?

Speaker 1:

Right Depends on the day. Yeah, I think it depends on what I have going on the next day. If I'm really busy, then it's probably going to be a non-negotiable. I'm going to override that, that desire to be done for the day, and I'm going to go ahead and get it done, because I don't want dishes sitting all day the next day. But if it's kind of a down day, then it's time to be like whatever, I'll get to it in the morning.

Speaker 2:

Absolutely, and that same. You know that goes for everything too. I mean from dishes to laundry to making sure the toys are picked up around the house. Yes, gosh, you know there's sometimes that you just you feel like you're fighting your kids to pick up toys around the house constantly and you're draining your body, you're draining your mind of the frustration. But you know those kids are going to pull those same toys out again here in 10 minutes. So is it truly necessary to put those toys away yet? Maybe not.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, yeah, I think it depends on how bad it bothers you and also, you know what you know. What I have also found is if I am in a phase of high stress so, for example, like when I'm in school full time and I have stress in other areas that clutter is going to bother me worse, and so it's actually very necessary for me to clean up that mess in order for my mental capacity to be a lot more nice, I should say versus when I'm not in a stress phase where, like we're just kind of chilling, like maybe it's summertime and nobody's in school and we're just chilling and yeah, whatever, like they're going to keep playing with it, so it's not going to get picked up until the end of the night, type thing, absolutely.

Speaker 2:

I feel like you know there's a statement of how many irons do you want to put in your fire? You know when there's times that we just you know I personally and I'm going to share a little bit about myself, ladies. I teach kickboxing, I'm a physical therapist, I own a business. I'm also part of a ranch life too, where I have to take care of animals and work on what they call hanging and making sure the animals have enough food, and there's just sometimes that I just have to sit there and go. Oh, I just can't do that one today because I have these other things that are requiring more of me. You know, and you just have to. I feel like you have to ebb and flow with what you're dealing with on a daily basis.

Speaker 1:

With everything that you have going on, how do you what's your system? What's your system to pick and choose on what you end up doing and what you don't end up doing?

Speaker 2:

That is a challenge in itself, man. Oh my gosh. You know I also have to work out, so yeah, like we have a lot of.

Speaker 1:

Our lives are so different, but we have so much going on in both of our lives. I'm curious what your process is.

Speaker 2:

Right. Well, you know what? And I've also just finished up some schooling too. I'll be honest, you know, with the schooling, I knew I needed to do the schooling, get that done, because that was priority one, plus the animals making sure that was good. And I have to say that part of my workout routine had to kind of suffer for a little bit, but I had to have those mental down times and I made sure I had three days a week where I worked out, but maybe not to the extent that I normally would, you know, like with running or swimming or you know those hard strengthening activities, but I made sure that I was active at least 30 minutes during those three times a week, for sure. And then I guess it just depends you know which one is yelling at you the most.

Speaker 1:

Oh, that's a good one.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, for instance, here recently I just had a family member that was having some massive medical issues and so I had to put down One of my pieces and that was kickboxing for me, specifically because I had a couple other ladies that could teach it and then that way I could take care of what that other family member took care of, and I knew it was only temporary, but I knew I needed to do that. So relying I feel like relying on other people at times to help you out, is Necessary you want to say that again ooh Other people to help you out.

Speaker 1:

I mean, we're not moms have to ask for help sometimes.

Speaker 2:

We are all super women and we're amazing people, but, goodness, we need that extra help.

Speaker 1:

Heck yeah, that's the hardest thing. Why is it dry? It pisses me off how hard that is, because I Would lay I would literally take my shirt off my back and lay it on the ground if it meant you didn't get your designer shoes messy or dirty For anyone in the world like but but when it comes to me being exhausted, why is it so freaking hard for women to ask for help? We're all guilty of it, but yet we would all very happily be willing to help our community. You know, I think it all comes down to you.

Speaker 2:

We are so giving. As women, we just like to give of ourselves because we we have so much empathy and so much caring About everything in our world that we just want to make sure that everybody's happy. We forget to make ourselves happy. Yep, and that I'm guilty of that on sometimes daily basis. And you know I'm I'm even learning here recently.

Speaker 2:

How do I say I need to go have fun, I need to enjoy my life instead of just work? Yeah, I know I need to take that moment to be able to breathe, and you know what sometimes as simple is just I know this sounds weird, but washing your hands, like for me as a physical therapist, after I'm done with each patient, I go and wash my hands and that is me time. Yeah, allowing me to refocus, redo what I need to do, and that way my patients have all the care that I need to for the next patient, but I can put that last patient to the side. I know that sounds weird. I got it that from another physical therapist, but, goodness, is that just a powerful tool to use?

Speaker 1:

Yeah, for sure, for sure, Okay. So what do you say to the mom? I have my thoughts and we'll both share our thoughts in our own ways. What do you say to the mom who, like, let's take someone who's working out, right, you go in phases where you're super motivated to work out and then you go in phases where you're just like I don't have it.

Speaker 2:

Oh, that is a hard one when is it time?

Speaker 1:

Yep, and I totally have my answer for this, and I think it's one that's not talked about enough. But I'm curious. Your thoughts too, like when is it time? Where that classic hustle culture of like what is it like once you're done working out, you never say you, you regret that workout, but you always regret the one that you don't do, which completely guilt trips. But there are times to skip that workout.

Speaker 2:

Oh, absolutely. You know I'm gonna give you a professional answer. Yeah, please you a personal answer. So the challenge is we as ladies, we have that lovely time of the month some people call it shark week, some people call it other things but honestly that is a very large challenge during that time of the month. We just don't want to work out so professionally. What I tell patients is hey, you know that hundred percent you were given it to it before your body is not gonna be able to do that because it's fighting different hormones in your system. That's not gonna allow it to function the way you want it to. So frustration is gonna set up hugely in that workout. And so I normally tell my ladies hey, you know, that hundred pound bicep curl that you were doing Give or take, you know, let's just talk about a hundred per hundred pounds.

Speaker 2:

I wish I knew that right, oh that hundred pound bicep curl, reduce it by 20 percent. Go to your 80 percent maximum. Yeah, where you would normally give something on her percent, go to your 80 percent. You're still giving that workout, but you're allowing your muscles to do what they do and not tear and not create damage to your system.

Speaker 2:

I think, that's a wonderful response to that one. However, comma, there is times and this is my other piece. Part two is there are times, as a mama, that we are so mentally drained that it's hard to do those hard workouts. So doing a lighter workout in general is better. You know, you don't have to go to the gym, you don't have to do that Running, you don't have to do that swimming. But, man, if you can just do a little bit of walking around your house, go outside, that is a great thing to utilize to your advantage, if you can. I know that sometimes, like myself personally, those mental days, I'm not gonna push it hard. I'm not gonna push it hard because I don't want a physical strain on my body. Yeah, but I do need a mental give and take, but I do need some physical aspects. Now, vice versa, if your physical body is done, but you need that mental change Again, light Activities is what you need so that you don't hurt yourself again, mm-hmm. So what are your thoughts, ashley?

Speaker 1:

Well, it's funny that you talked about hormones first, because that I literally wrote that like in all caps on art on my notes to talk about because I Could, I will, like I will die on the hill of. I wish that women understood more about their hormones. And when to I I guess, quote-unquote grind and push and hustle hard, which I do the same thing like I'm all about Freakin, like crossfit style, functional, thin it, whatever you want to call it. I love nothing more than to like want to crawl my way out of my gym and Just that feeling like I'm obsessed with that feeling. I love finding out what my body is capable of, but what I also understand is that there are four phases in our cycle.

Speaker 1:

It's not just about being on your period, but and and with each phase, your body is capable of different things. Your body benefits from different types and different qualities of exercise in general. Some phases, like you need more lightweight endurance types. Some, like man when you're ovulating, like you better believe that extra Testosterone in your body or that's when you're gonna hit your PR is. That's when your body is like let's go, let's hit it hard. Oh, and then the closer you get to your period like Even down to I I'm I know so, I know almost down to the hour when I'm gonna start my period, because I can even feel that feeling of like I don't even want my kids to touch me. Like my body Just needs space, it needs grace, it needs downtime. Walking outside I'm totally content with walking on my treadmill, but, like that is not the time for me to override, because those are like Physiological things happening down to the chemistry of my body. That's like the most inappropriate time to override and fall victim of the hustle mentality. I Know that there were phases, though, like I've definitely gone in phases a, specifically with fitness.

Speaker 1:

I think that's probably the area that I struggled the most on, like the hustle mentality, because and and we can talk about like just my recovery is alone, knowing when to override. I Think there was a lot of fear involved with those recoveries and so I struggled with, like how do I override this fear of Messing something up or straining a muscle or undoing what the surgeons had done to my body? And when is it okay to Hustle? Like because my mind would crave that in order to be okay, like there are times where it is time to be chill and and go for a walk and almost like the mobility routine, right. But but then for me at least, there are those times that I need. I need that feeling and I will never forget the day it was on my right side like your, your physical therapy student was here and I just bawled my eyes out because I needed that like Mental fatigue. So bad right I. It's almost like I had to do the opposite of overriding my fears in order to experience that mental fatigue to get me through the stress. And so I don't.

Speaker 1:

I just find this topic really interesting of like when to override what mechanism, because they're both important and they're both there for a reason. But it's just picking and choosing what is like. But but here's the here's the thing and here's the missing link is you have to understand your own personal body to understand when to appropriately override what mechanism you know a hundred percent. Like the, the female cycle, like there's no way you could not pay me enough To try to go out and PR my deadlift the day before I start my period, like it's not happening. I pulled 225 in the garage the other day with Mason. Let me tell you I'm damn near close to starting my period and I can promise you like I can feel the tiredness in my body. I ain't pulling that. I'm probably not even getting it off the ground.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, and then you know, the other thing that changes too is, as we look at that kind of stuff, we also have to think of through the lifestyle or the life cycle too. Yeah, because we have mamas who are just new mamas and then we have mamas who are like myself, who have a 25 and 26 year old kid. That's a whole different ballgame of what you listen to with your body and how it ages.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, for sure For sure. Well and like stress is like is a whole another thing. Sometimes, like, working out can be the worst thing that you can do for yourself when you are in a high stress. And that sounds so backwards, because a lot of moms are like I don't know what I would do without my workout. Well, sometimes it's just not the answer because your body is so tired and then you work out and you spike that cortisol, but then you don't have the stress management tools to bring that cortisol back down and reregulate your body and so you're just like ramped up on adrenaline and cortisol so often. It should have been the time that you overrode that system and maybe didn't push your body Absolutely as hard as it can go, and we see that.

Speaker 2:

you know honestly, I see that in the clinic more often than not, where I see these working out like crazy I know, they're just not listening to their bodies? No, I mean shoot. The other day we had a patient in the clinic that just, I mean she's working so hard at everything and you can see she's mentally spent, she's physically spent, but her brain was telling her she had to keep going and I think, in my opinion, she needed that permission to say okay you need to have some downtime for yourself, for just a little bit, and I'm not saying like you need to have like a couple months worth of downtime.

Speaker 1:

That's not acceptable either.

Speaker 2:

But having maybe a week or even three days to kind of have that downtime to yourself, you challenge yourself a different way and you know what, honestly, we as Americans too, are horrible with taking vacations, and so we definitely need to like, have that little piece in part where we take a vacation from some of the daily grind that we deal with. You know, change up your routine and see how it changes.

Speaker 1:

For sure, for sure, and I would. I want to point out that for moms oh, this makes this breaks my heart, because if moms now some moms who are extremely knowledgeable in like a good, solid training program, if you notice, what do we have every six to eight weeks? Oh man, there's something fancy called a D load week. Why do we implement D load weeks? Well, because it's the same concept. Your body needs a rest. Your nervous system needs a break. Your skeletal muscle, like your muscle, your skeletal muscle system, needs a break. Everything, everything inside of you, needs a break. And that's what that is. It's overriding that hustle culture, mentality of go, go, go. And what moms get caught up in is those beach body like. They go from one program to another program to another program to another program. And I have to work out every day or I'm going to gain five pounds straight to my hips, right.

Speaker 2:

Oh, my God.

Speaker 1:

I get stressed out Like girl take a break.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, there's so many people that do that. You know it's like you got to listen to the same program in respect of see what your body does. You know, I had a program for almost a year that I worked with and we had a D load week every six weeks and it was frustrating to me. But then I see, okay, that soreness that I constantly had was gone. Yeah, I was like, oh, oh, wait a second. The mental clarity was there, the fatigue factors improved and I was like, Okay, that just made me also want to eat a little bit more healthy for my body, to make sure to give it the nutrients to be able to build it back up the way I needed it to.

Speaker 2:

So I feel like in that particular case, you need to listen to your body, not override it, and keep going with those extra workouts. I mean you can spend money upon you know extreme amounts to get all those programs, but you have to have a D load week.

Speaker 1:

You have to. Yes, yes, Like your nervous system needs it more than what you realize. And and if you're working out because you want to I hate this word, but quote unquote tone up. You're not going to tone up if you don't get your body rest, because that's when the magic happens. So if your goal is to tone up, I say that word with like utter disgust. I hate the word tone up, but really what we secretly want is muscles, and in order for muscles to develop, you have to let them rest.

Speaker 2:

Oh, absolutely Women want to hear. Right, when you work out and I'm going to go into that professional speak again when you work out, you're actually tearing down part of your muscles and so, think about it, you're just kind of creating a micro tears all over the place. So when you constantly are creating micro tears in those muscle fibers, guess what? Again, you have to have a little bit of downtime, and that's why it's okay to work out three to five days a week and then have another two days to just rest and recover. Yeah, that's exactly why you have those days to let those muscles, instead of having that tear in them, build right back up.

Speaker 1:

I totally agree, totally.

Speaker 2:

Now overriding that system. You know, honestly, when you have to overwrite that system, we have it. I'm going to go on this piece. We have never I should say not ever but we as women typically have never pushed ourselves to that extreme level where we're so completely mentally, physically done. We're just laying in you know space and just taking up oxygen. Most of us have never hit that physical aspect where we completely are done, right.

Speaker 2:

So, sometimes we do have to override that system a little bit and if you're like you need to have that task done and you need to have it done today, get that done.

Speaker 1:

So a good deep breath. Oh man, we've talked about breathing. Oh yeah, Maybe practice some of that cyclical breathing. Override that mental stress, bring yourself to a center and then tackle the task ahead of you and then Close it up, lock it up and walk away.

Speaker 2:

Absolutely, absolutely. You know, and we all have those different changes in our bodies. Everybody's body style is different. If something physically bothers you, you're sore where you can't get ahead of it. You're so fatigued you can't get ahead of it. Physically, you can feel that fatigue If you have any pain in your body. You know like smells, sights, sounds bother you. You're physically done. Don't override that, okay.

Speaker 1:

No, no, and don't especially don't override it, because you saw some super fit mom on Instagram who says she lifts weights six times a week. Everybody's body is capable of something different and we are all in different phases of life. So that's when you have to decide like, okay, what am I actually capable of? Ignore what you see on social media, especially people who are not professionals and they're just influencers. Please ignore what you see. Please ignore their advice and just listen to your body. Your body is literally designed to tell you exactly what it needs. Sometimes our emotional thought process gets in the way of that. Yep.

Speaker 2:

Yep, you got to let your body be and you got to let it. I mean, that's another piece that I think you mentioned with your breathing is, you know, we override our system so much that we don't actually listen to the physical piece. Nope, you've got to let yourself have that ability to connect mind and body. Oh yeah, for sure.

Speaker 1:

Okay, ladies, the moral of the story is sometimes there is a time and a place to override, and then there's a time and a place to listen to what your body is asking of it and just give it a break. Every situation is different, every situation is unique and ultimately, deep down, you don't need to ask anyone but yourself. You'll know what's right for you. Just let yourself, let your body tell you what's right. Anything else to add.

Speaker 2:

Charlie, I think you summed it up nicely. Man you later you're gonna do awesome. Just keep listening to your mind and body together You're gonna do great, oh yeah.

Speaker 1:

Alright, ladies, as always, don't forget to subscribe the link is in the show notes because once a month we will be picking a winner for that $115 gift card to first form for your favorite supplements. My favorite is the collagen powder, their reds and greens, and the multi-vitamin pack is really all we need. You don't need anything fancy, but they are the best of the best on the quality and production of the actual process. So please don't forget to hit that subscribe, leave us a review, leave us comments and until next time, go out and be one strong mother.