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The One Strong Mother Podcast
Pull up a chair, pour yourself a cup of coffee (or reheat it for the third time—we get it), and join me for candid conversations about the messy, meaningful intersection of motherhood and personal growth.
This isn’t just a podcast about planners and productivity—though we love a good system around here. It’s about what it really looks like to pursue your goals while raising a family, managing chaos, and trying to stay grounded in the process.
Each week, I’ll share stories from my own life, behind-the-scenes lessons from building the One Strong Mother brand, and practical tools to help you stay organized, get intentional, and move forward—even when it feels like you're doing it all with a baby on your hip and laundry on the couch.
Whether you're in the thick of diapers or driving teens to practice, there's space for you here. Let’s figure it out together, one strong mother at a time.
The One Strong Mother Podcast
Unlocking the Power of Mindset: Overcoming Fear and Self-Doubt for Improved Athletic Performance and Life Experiences
Fear, self-doubt, and insecurities - daunting specters we've all tangled with at some point. We're no different. But here's the thing - we believe that these emotions, as intense as they are, don't define us. Drawing from our personal experiences, we shed light on how fear can deter us from experiencing something new and why sometimes, we need to override our brains to take the risks that lead to growth. We also discuss pain neuroscience education, taking inspiration from physical therapy sessions. Finally, we underscore the power of storytelling. It's about confronting our fears, rewriting our narratives, and not letting them steal the joy from our lives. After all, life's too short to be anything but happy!
Picture this: You've had a whirlwind of a weekend filled with cross-country meets and trips to the trampoline park - the joyous chaos of motherhood. While sharing our experiences, we delve into the significance of vulnerability and open communication with our children, reinforcing the bond we share. We also throw in a bizarre story about an eight-hour drive to winterize campers. It's all a part of the journey we call life.
Take a leap with us as we pivot into discussing the profound role mindset plays in athletic performance. Ever noticed how the energy in a room can shift your performance? We open up about our experiences, discussing how creating a different narrative for ourselves when we're feeling spent can be rejuvenating. Not stopping there, we talk about the thrills and chills of setting intimidating goals, all to decipher our capabilities better. Amidst everything, we emphasize the pivotal role of communication in fostering growth and development.
P.S.
Dont forget to SUBSCRIBE here to stay up to date on the release of our new course "The One Strong Mother Pelvic Floor Rehab", and enter for a chance to win our monthly $115 give away!!
Hey, welcome to the One Strong Mother podcast, the show dedicated to empowering and inspiring moms just like you to embrace strength, balance and well-being in the beautiful chaos of motherhood. We're your hosts, charlie and Ashley, fellow moms, on this incredible journey together. Each week, we'll dive into candid conversations, expert insights and real life stories that explore the many facets of modern motherhood From pelvic floor rehab to nutrition, from stress management to self-care. We're here to provide you with the tools, wisdom and encouragement you need to thrive as an individual while nurturing your family. So, whether you're listening, well, on a quick coffee break or during those precious moments of solitude, know that you're part of a vibrant community of One Strong Mothers. Together, we'll navigate the challenges, celebrate victories and empower each other to become the strong, resilient women we were all born to be. Thank you for joining us today and, without further ado, let's dive into today's episode.
Speaker 1:What is up, ladies? Welcome back to another episode of the One Strong Mother podcast, your favorite podcast with your favorite hosts. Another episode where your two gals are back together again and add it with the best of the best information, with the little touch of relatable motherhood thrown in there. Welcome back with Ashley and Charlie. Charlie, how are you doing everyone? I'm good. How are you today? Just peachy, a little worn out, a little chaotic, but we're here and that's part of being a mom.
Speaker 2:Absolutely. You know, we have to set time aside for ourselves and we can do this.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, oh yeah. It's just been a really busy, busy weekend. We're in the full swing of sports and deployment life and we are making it work.
Speaker 2:Absolutely absolutely.
Speaker 1:But you know I find it really interesting I know that I'm doing something right with being vulnerable and open with my kids as much as I can, because Mason so we've been so a little bit of what our weekend has looked like. I can't believe how much we did on Saturday. It was insane, and I know you guys were really busy on Saturday too, and it's funny how different our busy looks right now and the responsibility that you have versus what I have. But here's what our Saturday looked like. I got up, got Mason, dropped him off at Little America is where his cross-country meet was at. I came home for about an hour before it was time for his actual race and so I came back to the house. I didn't want to sit in the parking lot for an hour, so I came back, ate breakfast and then got the kids kind of settled and kind of like gave them their little pep talk before I left Natalie with the other three, went to the cross-country meet, screamed my head off like I had, like you know, just coaching Mason through this, like I get really competitive and so I'm like not even not screaming in a bad way and not yelling at other people's kids, but like I get really immersed in when I see someone struggling. I'm like, come on, like pain is temporary, let's go, buddy, come on like keep going, keep going, like fight for it. I'm not crazy mom out there, it's like cheering on anyone's kid. Okay, so we left the cross-country meet, came home, had like 30 minutes to eat lunch, get everybody dressed and changed, had to dig out our trampoline park socks for Frontier Park, got to the trampoline park, jumped for two hours which I have a lot to say about that and we'll go into that in a minute because I am like total testimonial to all the pelvic floor stuff we've done. But anyways, that's a side story and I won't get distracted Just for two hours and then begin.
Speaker 1:This is all for Noah's birthday weekend. So his main request and we like make a big deal about birthday breakfast and birthday dinners, and so his request was, after the trampoline park, go to Wing Shack and get wings. Well, while we were at the trampoline park, mason is, you know, kind of talking to this girl they do cross-country together and she had invited him to the movies. So that meant we leave the trampoline park, we go eat, we get our food, we eat, we enjoy our dinner. We have literally again just enough time to get home Mason, to change clothes and then get back in the car and go drop him off at the theaters.
Speaker 1:Noah was waiting to watch the Meg 2. It's about the Megalodon, anyways. He's been waiting all week to see it. So I told him, like as soon as we drop off Mason we'll start the movie. So came back, started the movie and then, in the mix of all that, had to get, you know, little ones to bed. I did not get to finish the Meg 2 with them. Then I had to leave and go pick up Mason again. My day did not end. It started at freaking like 7.30 in the morning. My day did not end running kids around until almost 10 o'clock at night.
Speaker 2:Oh, my goodness.
Speaker 1:With like, only like dude, when I say I had 15,000 steps that day and I didn't even work out like put on like a step counter myself.
Speaker 2:I know, yeah, yeah, I was cracking up. It is so different, like how your life is so different than mine Because, okay, let me tell you about what my life and then we'll, we'll get together on this, like you know, topic of interest that we're after today. Yes for sure. Yeah, my Saturday did the same thing. I started at 5 o'clock in the morning. I didn't work until 11 o'clock on Saturday night.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And that was driving approximately six hours. No hold on, is that six hours? Eight hours for the day? And that was to and from our ranches and they winterizing campers, making sure that all the equipment is blown off, all the pressure off of hydraulic systems for the tractors are taken care of, that we put up electric fence around the shop so cows don't get into the shops. You know closing everything up and I know this. We're getting mouse traps too.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah.
Speaker 2:Like that, but you have stuff you have to do, yep, yep. It's just absolutely crazy what, what the difference is between your life and my life. Right, right, we were both so busy and you know it definitely doesn't stop at a certain time.
Speaker 1:Uh-huh, no, it doesn't. And it's funny because this goes like right into what we're talking about today, which is like what story are you telling yourself? I, I, okay, so I love this stuff. This is probably like if there's one piece of advice I could give to anyone when it comes to the mental game of any journey that you're on, it's this right here. And somebody had said this to me. I don't, I can't remember if it was Rob, I don't know, but I had.
Speaker 1:There were several occasions in my life that this had like kind of been drip fed into my problem solving process is what story are you telling? And there's a quote by Will Smith. At least I heard it from Will Smith. I don't know if he's the original person, but I heard him say on an interview one time those who say they can and those who say they can't are both usually right, interesting. And so I don't know like I'm curious, like, oh God, I, my brain is like a million miles a minute because I have so much to say about this weekend and how perfectly, because this topic was already planned and this is something that I had to lean on like really hard, and I was even like I had to push not only myself but also Mason into leaning on this exact tool to get through the, the momentary hill that we were trying to climb.
Speaker 2:Absolutely. And so about, like how he's saying that Will Smith with the can and cannot. What kind of mental fortitude do you have?
Speaker 1:Do you have that? Oh, yeah, to keep going, and what mental fortitude do you have?
Speaker 1:Yep, yep, and so that's what like. So my question like I'm curious on your end of the week end because I know my answer on this one, but I'm curious on your end of the weekend with being that busy and getting everything that like they're okay. So for first of all piece of the story, that's, that's fact. You had to get that done. Like that piece of it is not an option. You cannot quit, you cannot put it off, because we live in Wyoming and you never know when, when the weather is going to turn and when, like, we're in for the long haul of the winter. So there are times where things are just genuinely not an option. We're like last episode we talked about like when to override the system. Well, this weekend is one of those things. Like there was no overriding, like this is a weekend that we both had to find ourselves pushing through. But was there a moment where you're like God, I just don't want to do this? I Can?
Speaker 2:yeah, times in there that I was like I know this sounds weird, but like driving in teapots that are in like Dirt but rock at the same time is dry and it's 95 degrees outside, yeah, and you're Nervous about too much sunburn and too much heat on your body and you're just like I don't want to, but it has to be done. Yeah, ask me. So you have to get over that mental piece that you just got to keep going now. Don't get me wrong. There's times that I'm like All right, I've gone for 30 minutes.
Speaker 1:I need a lot of water.
Speaker 2:Let's go ahead and get a drink of water. We know it's hot give yourself 30 seconds worth of a break, or even two minutes of a break, and then get going again.
Speaker 2:Yeah so yeah, you know, as far as what I have to tell myself to keep going is, this stuff needs to be done. They cannot wait any longer. It's gotta be done, and it's gotta be done today mm-hmm. Was that? Like you were talking earlier? You have bullet points of what things you have to be done today, and so you have a checklist of this is the things that have to be done tomorrow. These are the things that have to be done. The next day these are the things that have to be done.
Speaker 1:Yeah for sure. Was there ever a moment like did you ever? I guess? I guess what I'm poking at is Do you recognize that you have to change your story sometimes? Or or do you like subconscious, like is that ever a conscious thought in your like? What story am I telling myself Like, am I, do you ever like battle, I guess, with Thinking like I can't do this? And then you have a moment where you're like Well, actually I can, I just need to take a second and here's how we're gonna go about it.
Speaker 2:Oh, Absolutely you know, I mean there's times that you know, even in the clinic. You know when I'm with a patient and they have a massive diagnosis that I'm like, oh my gosh, I don't know if I've seen Obligations, yeah, yeah, but you know what? Their patient is in front of me asking for assistance.
Speaker 2:My thought process when I go through that is can I even see this patient? Is this patient appropriate for me or do I need to work with somebody else on this? And a lot of the times the answer is yes, I can. However, comma, how much more assistance do I need with this patient right from another medical provider?
Speaker 2:Yeah, or do I send this patient on to that other provider and then have them come back, right, you know, and sometimes it's going back down to the basics of what do I know, what do I not know, and what can? I keep learning, to make sure that I advance my knowledge base, to keep Pursuing and pressuring through the challenges of the day.
Speaker 1:Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, yeah, that's a good one. What's a good one?
Speaker 2:You know, I hate to say it, but in my world I Am one of those people that cannot is not in my vocabulary.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's, yeah, well, it's the environment you were raised in yeah, a hundred percent, and I know that's kind of the environment that you were raised in. Yeah, there's been a couple times in my world that I have realized that the word cannot has to be in my vocabulary. Yeah, I don't have the strength that I should have in certain circumstances as far as physical capability that somebody who's like a bodybuilder can you know, and I just have to go. Okay, how do I overcome this? What tools do I have to my advantage to make this work? Yeah, I just keep going with that.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I think that I wish I would have appreciated. I think that I did not value being raised in an environment where Strength and grit was at the forefront. I think that I Was a little rebellious turd and Wanted everything except for that. I lean on it now, which is like where it really came into play this weekend for Mason I Could tell I knew the minute before we had even left the house. I don't know, I really actually don't know how to explain, how I could tell, but it was really just the energy in the room, it was the vibe, it was the look on his face, like he wasn't mad, but you could tell his head wasn't in it and and he was. He didn't say it out loud at the time, we talked about it later, but the closer we got to like he just kept telling me he's like I'm tired, I'm tired, I didn't sleep good, I didn't, I, you know whatever.
Speaker 1:And so during our drive we had actually gotten to the course and he was about to get out of the car and I just I had kind of looked at him and I said, hey, I understand you're tired and sometimes we have to perform when we're tired, but right now you're about. You need to, you need to go into competitive mode and you need to find a different story to tell yourself Is what I had told him. And he kind of gave me this look. I said like if you keep telling yourself you're tired, you're gonna perform like you're tired and so you need to find something else to lean on. And so, and of course, like he had, he said okay, like he understood, and so he got out of the car then and, like I said, we had about an hour, so he went with his team, he was doing his thing. And then I got back and he found me and he, you know, he had about 30 to 40 minutes.
Speaker 1:They were running a little bit behind the girls events was a little bit slower, and Still I could like he just wasn't in the zone and and there's a specific zone that you absolutely have to be in in order to compete at a high level, absolutely. And I asked him what his goal was for the day and he said well, I'm hoping I can finish around 21, 22 and now keep in mind, little America is a very, very tough course, like it's one of the hardest courses of the entire season because it's on a golf course and it's Very hilly and 90 percent, I will say 90 percent, and it's not. It's not equal parts uphill to downhill either. That's the problem is, most of it is uphill with very short downhills, and then you're going back up and then you add on how hot it was on Saturday. Um, yeah, yeah, and and and where we are, like you're not shaded at all, yeah, no.
Speaker 1:So, yeah, and they're running mason's race. It was supposed to start at 11 40. It didn't start until closer to noon. So we're in the peak of like that, that noon sun, and it is freaking miserable. Yeah, like I'm pouring sweat down my back just watching these kids Buh, anyways. Um, I looked at him and I he's, he told me 21 or 22. And I just kind of looked at him and I said how, about 19? And he looked at me and he's like that that's impossible on this course. That's impossible. I said, well, yeah, with that story that you're telling yourself, is 100 possible, but you'll never achieve it if you don't set the goal.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you have to set your goals, to yeah, think are good enough. For you or make you work that much harder to try to yep, yeah, and so we kind of broke down into into that.
Speaker 1:I said, mason, like you're never gonna go If your goal isn't scary, like how are you ever gonna know what you're capable of, it should scare you. It should feel somewhat Unachievable. Because what if? What if you do run a 21? Okay, let's put that into the, into the scenario what if you do run a 21? Then you're gonna be left with Maybe I had more in the tank, right, but if you set your goal at 19, if you tell yourself the story of I'm shooting for 19 and you cross that finish line and you are ready to fall down to the ground and maybe you don't achieve that goal, but at least you know that you put in the effort that it took to potentially get to 19. But if you set it at 21, you might have some fuel left in the tank and when you're in competition you better be leaving it all out on the floor. How?
Speaker 2:disappointed, would he have been? I know yeah, kasey's a picketter, he really is.
Speaker 1:So, so you know. What's interesting, though, is he never was. He never found it that day, and it was hard, but it was also like a pivotal moment of continuing with this tool and diving deeper into the tool. He after the race, and like here's the thing about communication, that this is another piece of that, that even within like our mine and Rob's marriage, there are times when we are struggling with growth or life or just whatever. We'll have a bad day, and a lot of us, a lot of times, we'll ask each other do you need me to just listen or do you need solutions?
Speaker 1:And so I had asked me yeah, yeah, so, needless to say, so he ran almost this is his worst time like to his high school record. He ran almost 25 minutes. It was rough, like he was not in it, and after the race, like you could tell, he was pretty pissed off rightfully so, like I get it and so I had asked him, like I had a lot to say about it, you know. But I asked him, I said do you need to sit with us for a little bit or are you ready to talk about it and come up with solutions for the next time? And he was, of course, like he was mad, so he definitely wasn't ready to talk about it. He was like I just need, I just need some time. I said, okay, so fast forward though, and we come. And this is the beautiful thing about understanding this tool of what story are you telling yourself? Because we were able to continue that story.
Speaker 1:The story didn't end with his bad time, the story still continues with okay. So you had a really rough race. Let's break it down. Like what part of that? It's not necessarily your conditioning, it was really his nutrition. He didn't eat that morning, yeah, but also it was his mindset, and he really was able to come out and say, well, I'm struggling with dad not being here, like I'm really sad that dad wasn't here. Okay, okay, like that opens up to so much more conversation and we can work with that, you know. And so, anyways, it was just this huge moment of coaching and guiding him through. But if you're not able to shift your story and then go all in and believe your story, then that failure ends as a failure.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:You know, and that's-.
Speaker 2:I mean ideally, you can't in Mason's world. Let's talk about Mason for a second. He's an athlete. He's only you know. He's a single performer, if you will. And as he's doing things, he cannot, in my thought process, he cannot tell him the self the same thing over and over and over While I'm having a hard time with dad being gone. That can't be his same story every time, because like I said he's gonna fail at it every time. That way.
Speaker 2:And he's gotta think of himself as a little differently. Yeah, I mean it's nice to have dad there, Don't get me wrong. But you know what? Even if dad was home, how many events would dad be able to attend? Yeah, no kidding, you know. And he can't have the same story that way either. So I mean there's multiple things that can add up to it. It's just like you know, athletes are really easy to pick on because we have teammates or we're single events, and you have to set the bar really high for yourself, Try to achieve what you can, Try to beat your opponents.
Speaker 2:You know, and are you stooping down to your opponent's level, or are you stepping up even further than what your opponents are capable of and further than you think you're capable of. Uh-huh, and I think you know. Going back to what you were thinking, or saying about you realizing what you look at your kids and you can read your kids like crazy, going ooh, they're not having a great day, or?
Speaker 2:oh my gosh, they're really having a good day. We as adults have been able to turn that switch on and off constantly. You know there's times that you and I are both athletes. We're both in the professional realm. Whether we're having a good day or not, we have to do the best we can with a person we're in front of at any one moment.
Speaker 2:Yeah, for sure, we have to give them everything we've got, because in the physical therapy world, they're paying me and you to give them what we got and to make them better with their pain, with their difficulties with, say, their pelvic floor or their muscles or whatever it is, and they're doing the same thing, you know, if they say they can't, are they though? Oh?
Speaker 1:yeah.
Speaker 2:How do you know?
Speaker 1:Yes.
Speaker 2:How do you know you can't until you try it? Yes, so I feel like you have to set a goal for yourself. You know, like our patients and the you know they'll we'll have our patients get on the bike, you know, before physical therapy, to kind of warm up their body so we don't tear any muscles. But you always see a goal in their brain of the ones who want to achieve the best and they get better results sooner.
Speaker 1:Oh yes.
Speaker 2:Because they're like oh, I almost reached three quarters of a mile on the bike today.
Speaker 1:Next time I'm gonna reach that that dang bike. It's like torture, not 10 minutes, it's the same damn 10 minutes and it's like it's a freaking game of like. Ooh, can I get three laps today?
Speaker 2:Yeah, absolutely, and you know. So that's, that's the you know. Again, are you telling your story?
Speaker 1:Yeah, Are you telling?
Speaker 2:yourself? Yeah, are you telling yourself you can't.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it cracks me up when patients like you you have two patients, for example come in at the same time and patients who are young, like there are. There have been situations where patients are younger who have an achy knee. This one's been like the most common one, where someone will come in like, oh, I can't do the bike today, my knee is just really bothering me. And then you have some old, crusty veteran come in limping on a peg leg and jumps right on there and like, happy, he exists, right, and like, like the positivity is, so the energy exchange is so different from the one. And again it comes full circle back to that quote of those who say they can and those who say they can't are both usually right. Oh, that's true, you are correct. Like your reality, because your brain does not comprehend lies and so whatever you tell yourself is what your brain believes and that's the story, like it's going to manifest into a reality. And this even happened, like there's so many situations and a short one, a short example, like applying it to me, and what story I had to tell. And this is super lighthearted and kind of funny.
Speaker 1:At the trampoline park there is this huge zip line and of course, underneath is that huge like foam pit like in gymnastics, right, like, okay. Well, first of all, this trampoline like we had never gone to the trampoline park until I had my surgeries and so I've never actually gotten to jump with the kids, so this was my first time that I've ever gotten to like go play okay, so I've never been in a foam pit. First of all, that crap is hard to get out of. I did not like it. I did not like it and my hip flexors were not ready for that resistance. But I really really wanted to do the zip line like so bad Heights are not my thing. I panic like I can, like there's no talking it down that adrenaline and cortisol spikes so fast that my hands were like pouring sweat, but I was. I refused to let this thing beat me because I did not want to chicken out and Natalie wanted me to do it with her the most. And it was just this moment like I was standing there and now let me tell you I was going back and forth with what story I was gonna let win in this particular moment of like I can or I can't, and she ended up going before me and we were supposed to go at the same time, but I was like Natalie, just go. Like I don't know if I'm gonna be able to do this. And finally, like I literally had to override my brain.
Speaker 1:What's the worst that can happen, Ashley? You fall immediately and you land into the same foam pit that you land in if you make it across the entire zipline. This is literally designed to save you. It's not going to hurt. You may look like an idiot because you didn't even make it off the platform, but that's it. That's the consequence to it not working. It was such a battle, though. I finally did it. Then I did it several times after that. You know what's crazy? It wasn't nearly as hard to hold on as I thought it would be. I had worked up such a story of fear that I almost didn't let myself have fun with my kids.
Speaker 2:It's amazing what fear can do to your brain. You know these stories is whether you're you know there's a thing in physical therapy, it's called pain, neuroscience education, and we talk about fear, avoidance behaviors and amazing how many times fear and stress will create avoidance behaviors of things that may be enjoyable in our world.
Speaker 1:because we're just scared to try it.
Speaker 2:Who knows, it could be simple, as I'm not going to eat that food because I don't know what it's like, I'm scared it's going to taste horrible.
Speaker 1:Or it might make me super fat, like there's women that are so scared to eat food because oh, that's going to go straight to my hips, or trying on different clothes Because we don't know what clothes fits us.
Speaker 2:There are so many times that moms look frumpy because they're scared to show off what they have.
Speaker 1:Because, they've told themselves a story that they don't fit into. What society says looks good.
Speaker 2:Absolutely, and we've got to avoid that fear avoidance aspect. We've got to step through those models of being able to understand who we are in our belief systems and go is this physically going to hurt me? Is it mentally going to hurt me? Yeah, if it's not going to do either, okay, let's try it, let's see what happens. You know, like you said, the worst thing that could have gone wrong is the very fact that you fell into a foam pit. Yes, those film pits are painful.
Speaker 1:Oh my gosh.
Speaker 2:But I don't. Oh man, the first time I ever fell into a foam pit. I laughed the entire time?
Speaker 1:Yes, so did I.
Speaker 2:It was ridiculous so silly, but man, those lines, what an exhilaration. I'm scared of heights. I'm not going to lie, I don't like heights. I don't like being claustrophobic. I don't like certain things, you know. As far as what's in that foam pit is, anybody clean that out? You know?
Speaker 1:that kind of stuff Right.
Speaker 2:You know what? I know that they have to clean those foam pits. Yeah, definitely, I know that they have to make sure everybody's good. I know they have to make sure their safety stuff is on par because otherwise their business wouldn't thrive Right.
Speaker 1:And you know what?
Speaker 2:What an exhilaration, what a moment to remember for yourself.
Speaker 1:And for my daughter, like how devastating would it have been if I would have let my? What am I teaching her that my story is? Is that the fear in my story is going to control and dictate the pleasure and joys in life? Like I would have stolen an experience from her and myself if I would have let that story beat me. But I and I like I said, like I'm not kidding when I say I was standing on that platform and my brain was like rapid fire, going back and forth between the two stories of actually it's really not that big of a deal. Like you're, you're safe, they're not going to let you do something that's not safe in this building. Or, and I like I get it, freak accidents can happen, but what are the odds, you know? And at least, if that's what takes me out, well, man, at least I went down doing something fun.
Speaker 1:I don't know, but but man, what a shame. And, and I think about all the other times that go back to the clothes. I think about all the times that I let my story was so powerful that I didn't wear clothes that made me feel beautiful. There were so many times I wanted a certain style, that but, but I had convinced myself like meh probably shouldn't wear that Baving suits in particular. How sad we talk ourselves down because we create a story Honestly though, like and this. There was one time that this resonates, resonated so deeply. I was so embarrassed Me and Rob had gone away for a weekend and it was a hotel like a resort in Denver and they have like several pools that you can go around and swim and they have Lazy River.
Speaker 1:Listen, I the the amount of time it took me to be willing to walk out of that hotel room in the bathing suit that I and I only brought one option, because I had promised myself I would face these fears of being judged on what I was wearing and judging myself even. I'm probably way harsher of a critic on my own self than anybody else in the world. Yeah, and then I stepped foot out and you know what observation I made is that there were so many more women who had very much larger bodies than me, who were, who were walking around it and they might have been insecure, but let me tell you I didn't look at them and judge their bodies. I looked at them and was envious of the confidence that they walked through that resort with it had. Yeah, like man, what story are they telling themselves? Cause I want a piece of it. You know what I mean.
Speaker 2:Like the thing is, we have to tell ourselves that, you know, as moms, we have had our kids and we did. We created babies, we created these people. What a glorious gift it is for ourselves to be able to do that and show off the body that you did that. There is nothing wrong with our bodies. You know, like you were saying that swimsuit, I gosh, I have a friend she's, she's on the little heftier side, don't get me wrong. She's got thyroid issues. I mean, she's got PCOS polycystic ovarian syndrome, for those of you don't know and so she's a little heavy and you don't think she's capable of certain things. But, man, she can outdo me any day of the week with any activity and I'm like, good Lord, girl, do you go in it? She is right, he's had to fight that confidence piece. But man, I, you know I sit there and look, I'm like, wow, your body was capable of doing that.
Speaker 2:Mine should be able to be capable of doing that too and that's a story we need to tell ourselves is, yes, our bodies are capable of doing that. We can do whatever we set our minds to. Granted, you know, there's certain things like I'm sorry, maybe not lifting a tractor with you, just one person not going to do that, but you can do a lot of things we can set our mind to, for sure.
Speaker 1:So true, so true. There was so many times in my recovery from both sides of my surgeries, like, oh, talk about battle, talk about stories.
Speaker 2:We have a daily battle in. The research actually shows that as we talk to people every 20 seconds we have a different thought that we like to relate to that other person. So we can have that communication, we can have that socialization, but every 20 seconds, what story are we telling ourselves?
Speaker 1:Yep.
Speaker 1:And something, something that I think is really powerful to understand too.
Speaker 1:If, like, if you're someone new listening to this, who is maybe on, maybe on a new like health journey, or you just had a baby, and it seems like you're never going to be as strong, whatever your story is, the beautiful thing is is you can change that story at any given moment, like, you don't have to stay within any certain parameters of that story.
Speaker 1:If it's not working, you're not happy. If it's not sustainable, if that story doesn't feel like it should exist in your life, you don't actually have to stay there. Like that's the beautiful thing is you're in control of what story is being told, because you're the main character of your own story. So, yeah, like and I wish that I would have understood that a long time ago that was a piece that I think missed, was missing for a long time, was under like, understanding, I guess not finding, but understanding when it's time, when it's okay to say, hey, I don't think the story is actually working out for me, right, okay, like, let's pivot stories that we need to tell ourselves, and if they have to be positive stories, they can't be, negative stories.
Speaker 2:We always give ourselves negative stories. Yeah, we as a society have grown up with that and we need to change that to where it's a positive. Life already hands us difficult things to deal with. Why not make it a positive story?
Speaker 1:Yep, yep Down to even. I've actually heard what's Jay Shetty? He there. He made a post one time. I love Jay Shetty stuff, like he is. Everyone should know who Jay Shetty is. Like. He's amazing.
Speaker 1:He talks a lot about stories as well and he had he had said something one day where you wake up and you're kind of cranky and you're you're kind of going through your day and you say, oh, I'm so tired today. Okay, we all, like we all experience tiredness. So this is a relatable example. So, okay, you feel tired. That's a feeling you can't control, that that's not going away. The tiredness is not going away. But the story around the tiredness is what, what we have to work on. Are you going to let yourself be cranky and groggy and slow and kind of pissy around whoever you're around that day because you're tired? Or you have the opportunity to kind of sit back and say, okay, I feel tired, maybe I'm just going to take it a little slower today. Maybe I'm going to make time to take like a 30 minute nap, close my eyes. Even if you don't fall asleep, I'm going to give myself grace because I feel tired. There's such kind of stuff, yes, yes.
Speaker 1:And so shifting that energy into the positive energy of whatever is going on around you, like there's certain things of that story that are not controllable, but it's the energy that you invest into that story is where the power is within your story.
Speaker 2:You have to yeah.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, all right, now I need to tell you I feel like we've gotten our point across about like what story, and you know.
Speaker 1:But I have to tell you my like most powerful testimony about, about pelvic floor and like everything that my body has gone through, charlie, I will. I mean, I've said this to you before where, when I was truly just a pelvic floor patient this is pre surgeries there were things that you would teach me where I'm like you can't work that good, it can't do. Like that's kind of weird. Like when you tell me I mean, every mom reacts this way, like when you tell people to kind of open your legs and relax when you sneeze or cough or laugh. You know, it's real hard to trust that because your first instinct is to tighten everything up. I am very happy to say that I jumped on those trampolines and trampolines are like the arch nemesis of moms who have multiple kids and I would like to be the first to say that I did not have any form of peeing my pants, oh that is so awesome, that is so amazing.
Speaker 2:One thing, you know, I'll give I'll give a little advice out here on this podcast, the big one that I tell my moms, and even people who are not moms too, because there's, you know, my, I have little guys that have issues with incontinence too, and even men who have incontinence.
Speaker 2:But the big one I tell you. You know, tell yourself don't cross your legs unless your muscles are relaxed on the inside, don't cross your legs. Stand like a guy, sit like a guy. Don't cross your legs, because the muscles on the inside of your thighs mimic what your pelvic floor is doing. So if the inside muscles are tight, the pelvic floor is going to be too tight and it's not going to act like the way it's supposed to. You're overriding it, so nice job, mama. That is great.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, and it also slightly like it broke my heart, though, because you could see other moms like there were. There were definitely other moms jumping on the trampolines, but then you have your moms that sit on the sidelines and it just you know why. Like, ultimately, like it's like that power, look of like you, like kind of like the cowboy nod where you're, like I get it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but it just made me sad. I'm like oh there's so many people this is why we're doing these podcasts is there's so many people who don't understand what the public floor?
Speaker 1:does yeah, and they don't understand.
Speaker 2:So, going back to our topic for today, what story are we going to tell ourselves? The public floor? You can't tell me at this point that you can't fix the public. No kidding, because you can fix the public floor. I had a little lady who had been dealing with issues for 65 years. She's a man. Her story was beautiful because she's like I am tired of this, I need help. I don't know if you can help me, but I'm going to do my darndest to you know. Do whatever you tell me to do. I'm not kidding Ashley. Within two weeks this lady's entire life flipped around, where she went from happening to where it depends all the time, couldn't go swimming, was scared to go out of the house. Two in two weeks she was going out for dinner with her friends, she was going to the movies. She actually even went and joined a swimming class and there was no continents to be found.
Speaker 2:I love it.
Speaker 1:It doesn't surprise me now, yeah, yes, no, it's totally possible, and it does come full circle. What story are you going to tell yourself? Are you never going to jump and experience other stories and memories with your kids, because you've already convinced yourself that that's just not in your cards? Because you're a mom? You may be a mom and moms make all the sacrifices in the world, but fun does not have to be one, because your pelvic floor can get better. All right, ladies, we're going to wrap it up there. Thank you guys. So much for tuning in for another episode of, like I Said, the Best Podcast in the World for Moms One Strong Mother. Don't forget, check out the show notes, hit the subscribe, get on our email list and you will be entered in to the $115 gift card giveaway done monthly for new subscribers. So again, thanks for your time. We truly value you being here and until next time, go out and be one strong mother.