The One Strong Mother Podcast

Perfectionism tried to do the dishes; we turned on the hot water and built a mastermind instead

• Ashley Mussyal

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A smelly sink, a pressure cooker insert, and a cup of coffee become a doorway into something bigger: how letting go of perfectionism creates room for courage—and how courage multiplies when you’re held by the right people. We open up about the messy, non-Instagram parts of building a wellness business and a life, and we honor the teammates who choose faith in a vision before the proof arrives. Jennifer gets a heartfelt shoutout, not because she solved every problem, but because she refused to step away while we solved them together.

From there, we connect the dots between story and science. Blue zone research often gets reduced to diet trivia, but the real common thread is community: regular connection, shared rituals, and roles that matter. That social fabric doesn’t just feel supportive; it changes health outcomes, mental resilience, and how we navigate stress. We talk about the moments imposter syndrome gets loud—right before launches and trainings—and how honest voices in your corner can cut the noise with one simple reframe: if they’re not your people, that’s not your failure. It’s permission to keep serving the ones who are waiting for you.

We also share a practical map for finding or building your own circle when life is busy, mobile, or isolating. Curate rooms where your value is additive, set clear permissions for truth-telling, and blend digital with in-person touchpoints to make support durable. Whether you’re a mom reclaiming your health rituals or a coach scaling a practice, we invite you into spaces designed for both education and empathy. Want a free wellness community for moms? Need a mastermind where providers and coaches swap systems that actually work? We’ve got links ready for you. If this resonated, tap follow, share it with the friend who always has your back, and leave a review telling us who your “Jennifer” is—we’d love to cheer her on, too.

If you are on your health journey start here:

Join Designed to Last Community

If you are a wellness coach looking to find not only the community but also the entire software that allows you to fully systemize your business start here:


Ready to take what you’re learning and put it into action?
Explore my favorite resources below 👇

💪 For your health + energy:
Join the Designed to Last Wellness Community — where women rebuild energy, metabolism, and confidence through structure, support, and strategy.
➡️ onestrongmother.com/join-dtl

🚀 For your business growth:
Discover The Marra Collective — a done-with-you business ecosystem that helps small business owners scale with automation, AI, and a lean team.
➡️ themarracollective.com

SPEAKER_00:

Hey there. Welcome to the One Strong Mother podcast, the space where empowering and inspiring moms unite to embrace strength, balance, and well-being amidst the beautiful chaos of motherhood. I'm your host, Ashley, a military spouse and mom of five, blocking this incredible path beside you. In each episode, I'll bring you candid conversations, expert insights, and heartfelt stories that touch on every facet of modern motherhood. Whether you're thinking in a listen during a quick coffee break or savoring those rare moments of quiet, together, we'll tackle the hurdles, boost each other up, and cement our place as the strong, resilient women we are designed to be. Thanks for tuning in, and let's dive into today's episode, shall we? Hello, everybody. Welcome to another episode of the One Strong Mother Podcast. I am really excited to be here with you, and I have a funny story to share with you before we get started. And if you follow me on Instagram, then you got to experience this moment in real life for me. Um I did a poll and I want to, I hope that I get a lot of responses because I want to record an episode on like just really funny things that moms submit. I put a little like question box thing up on my stories to have other moms share like super unhinged mom hacks that people would cringe at, but secretly like it actually legitimately helped you in that moment. And mine, I was cracking up at myself so hard because mine in that moment, and what inspired me to share this, is um I have been on this weird journey of trying not to experience so much perfectionism in my life. And with starting and running these two businesses, I've really had to step back from things that I used to be really crazy about making sure that they get done, aka the dishes in the sink. Like there would not be a knife that we would go to bed without the sink being emptied. And and like that used to like really affect me mentally if it didn't happen. Anyways, through all of this, I've there's just been things that I've had to learn how to let go of. And while I'm not telling you this story because it wasn't actually supposed to be some like inspirational, like find yourself and heal from the perfectionism. Anyways, it's part of it though, because that is how like to make the story make sense is how I got here today. Um, the funny part is there has been a giant the part that goes into my pressure cooker, it's too big. I don't like when it has to go into the dishwasher. And I keep telling my kids, oh, just leave that. I'll wash it, don't worry about it, load the rest of the dishes. And it's been like two days now, and I had filled it up so the food that was cooked in it didn't sticky, get stuck and like dry and crusty, and I had to scrub it real hard, so it had water in it. Well, guess what? When that dirty sink water sits there for like two days, it gets kind of smelly. Um, so it's smelly, and and I needed to sit down and record uh record this particular episode. Um, and I didn't want the the dirty sink water, like I walked by it and it bothered me because I could smell it. And you guys, I was so in the zone creatively that I literally physically did not want to take the time and I needed to make my coffee and I haven't even had my first drink yet. I want to share that with you guys. Have have coffee with me and sit and chat. But um I did not, I didn't even dump the water out. You want to know what I did? Um, I turned the water on on hot water and I let it run in that bowl so it would intentionally overflow the bowl long enough that it filled up the bowl with fresh water. So I didn't have to actually like dump it out and clean it and scrub it and take the time to do that. But you know what though? I don't have stinky water in my sink anymore, and I can walk by it and not smell some rotten gross. So it worked. It worked, it worked long enough for me to function during the day, and and I promise before my kids get home from school, I will um post a picture for proof that the the bowl is indeed clean and not stinky and rotten. But, anyways, that's my unhinged mom hack for the moment. I hope that that helps you feel a little more normal and maybe feel even better about yourself because because welcome to the journey of Ashley Healing from Perfectionism within like trapped in my own brain. And then that is my version of I don't give an F right now about the dirty sink water. I just don't want to smell it. Um, so, anyways, there's there's that. So let's take a drink of coffee because I am actually like really excited about today's episode. So if you have coffee, uh join up, sister, because I have coffee and I'm about to take my first drink. It's like one with my soul. I couldn't drink coffee for the longest time because I when I had gotten COVID the first time, way back when the everything was happening in the pandemic, I wasn't ever scared of COVID, but also like I got it and it actually like brutally sucked. Um, it ruined my taste for years. I actually did not have normal taste. And coffee was one of those things. I used to love drinking coffee, it was like part of my morning ritual. And um, for years it tasted nasty and like it was just scorched on a stove or something, and now I'm just recently like getting myself back into it, and it doesn't taste gross. So that's nice, that's a treat. Um, but anyways, what we came here for today really is I something has been on my mind, and I just really need to one dedicate this episode to my chief of marketing. Um so, so Jennifer, if you listen to this, this one's for you because a thank you will never be enough for what you have done and trusting me and and being a part of a journey that I couldn't promise you what the outcome was gonna be. You came into a team where everything was so new and so scary and so hard and so just there's just been so many unknowns, and for some reason you took a leap of faith on the vision and on and trust the my vision. Like it wasn't even your vision, it was my vision, and the fact that you trusted it, it just like but it made me think so much deeper than that, and it made me realize like we you have got to find someone like that, no matter what journey you're on, whether it's a business or your health journey, a parenting journey. There's so many different types of journeys. You cannot do these things alone. I am all for Little Miss Independent. Listen, I'm the first to be independent. It is not easy for me to ask for help. It is not easy for me when I can't figure something out. And trust me, this I will figure it out. Just give me some time and I will figure it out. I have been asked time and time and time again in my life, and then more so here recently with my business, my software company. How have you, oh my gosh, how have you figured that out? I don't know. I actually didn't know anything when I got started. I just knew I saw the vision and I saw the need for who I was serving and I figured it out. It wasn't easy, you guys. Like there's been a lot of freaking long, long, real long nights. And there's been a lot of tears that have been shed. But you know what made it a little bit less crazy and scary and difficult? It was the fact that not only did I have my husband that believed in this vision, and knowing that we were in this together, but I had someone like Jennifer. I had Jennifer, like, like no matter what, sh I have called her. There was one day in particular, something felt so big and hard, and I thought I had created a problem that I wasn't sure how to solve in that moment. I balled my my eyes out to her, and she didn't have the answer, but she also didn't lose faith in the vision, and she just she gave me the space that I needed to get those emotions out, and then I was able to pick myself back, like the independent side of me was like, all right, I've cried. Now let's figure it out. But the fact is, is like I'm not alone. I don't have to do this alone. And I, for years, I had tried to build something beautiful and there was something missing all the time. And I really firmly believe it was a community. It was a community. I have learned to put myself in environments where I am surrounded by like-minded people. We're not always doing the same thing, we're not on the same journey, but we are all doing the hard thing to do, and so therefore we have that commonality, and so therefore we can support each other. I have I have learned to put myself in rooms that I feel very unqualified to be in. But you know what? You know what? That becomes a community. If you can find some type of value to add to that room, it becomes your support system. It becomes a moment where, man, if I'm really struggling, guess what? I have people in my corner that I can reach out to and say, oh my God, I'm really struggling with this. Do you maybe have like a system put in place for when this happens? Yeah, sure. Let me hand it. Same thing with your health journey. Surround yourself with other people who are on health journeys. They might be, they might even be a little bit ahead of you. And so you can easily knock on their door and say, Hey, I'm kind of stalled out here. Have you ever encountered this? And if you have, what what did you do? Or even on those days, like, man, I just don't have what it takes. Do you know how many times I have said that to my business partner, to Jennifer, and to my husband? And and just like had this feeling of like, I don't, I don't know how to fix this, I don't know how to do this. And either one of them have picked me up and and maybe even without knowing it. But just those those words of encouragement, man, like it creates an environment that keeps you going. I would have never been able to do any of this without either one of those two in my life. Ever. And I hope that if you get anything from this episode, it is to know go find your community. You don't have to do any of this alone. You shouldn't do any of this alone. And in fact, there are so many studies I loved researching when I was in one of my nutrition uh certification programs. There was a class that I or a lecture that I sat through that um sorry, my allergies are super bad right now. So if you hear me sniffling, just just you know what, we're real over here, and I don't know how to edit it out. So just deal with it. Um this particular lecture broke down, it was a study that broke down what are called blue zones in uh around the world. There's multiple blue zones, and basically what a blue zone in a blue zone is, is it's an area where people tend to live way longer and way more healthy than other populations. And so they were they were studying these blue zones to try to figure out like what is it that makes these people live longer? Um, and it's crazy because they were, you know, like you could probably make some speculations like, oh, they don't drink alcohol, or oh, they don't eat certain food groups, or oh, they only eat whole food, you know. You could probably like, and the craziest, craziest thing is, is it actually has nothing to do with any of those. While yes, they like most of them drink alcohol on a regular basis. I am not advocating for you to go drink alcohol. I'm not saying that's part of why they live longer. I do not drink, I am not against drinking. It is not, it is just a personal decision of like I am choosing not to put that in my particular body. I am not telling you that it is, I'm not, anyways, that's a whole thing. That's a whole nother podcast episode that can be done. But, anyways, um, they did consume alcohol, but the thing is, is it was in a group setting. The the commonality among all of these blue zones ended up being the common denominator was community and the impact that community has on the energy that you surround yourself with and how that energy impacts your physical health, how it impacts your mental health, your spiritual health, all of the things came down to community and not feeling isolated. Isolation is the worst thing on the human body that you can do, and you can almost guarantee that you will come down with ailments, you can guarantee that you will die at an earlier age. The longer you are isolated, the worse off you will be. So, why if we know this? Um do something about it. You do not have to do life alone. No matter what kind of journey that you are on, you do not have to do life alone. Find your community. Go find the person that you can lean on that will never ever, ever make you question your worth, why you are doing this, but also that person has permission to be honest with you. And so when you need someone to be honest with you, do you know how many times my husband has had to like really pull back the reins and and I don't want to say put me in my place, but but truly put me in my place. Whenever there's days, like there are days where I have been about to do a live launch or a training in front of of medical providers that I was like, I was so nervous, you guys. And I started dealing with imposter syndrome, and I start like, what if nobody likes me? What if what if I'm not good enough? What if if what if what I've created wasn't good enough for them? What if they don't see the value in it? I've poured everything into this, and oh my god, what if they don't like it? What if they don't like me? And and he was in he's he's the very closest person in my community, and he had the space to to be honest with me enough and say, so what? If they don't like you, then they're not your people. And and being able to hear that and like put this blanket of comfort back over myself and like, you know what, you're right. Because I do know, I do believe that what I've created is amazing and it will help change the lives of so many people. And if they don't see the value in that, then they're not my people, anyways. Um, because what I do in my software company, and to give you some context, I have been a health coach and a personal trainer and run my own business and worked for other people, and I've taken all this collective information, I've created courses, I've created content, I've created so many things around the true like lasting impacts of health and and and put it all together. And I've I've I white label it now out to other wellness coaches and medical providers and clinics, and they use this stuff to be able to serve their people on a deeper level. And so there was just this like huge fear that what if they don't like me? What if they don't see what I do as being value? Cool, then they're not your customer. Get over it. But I wouldn't, I wouldn't be able to push back past those barriers. There's so many times those barriers have held me back and actually dictated my decision making. There's so many times that I have had this imposter syndrome that it has actually physically stopped me in my tracks and I didn't go through with my business. Do you know how many times it's taken me to start my business and how many times I've stopped my business? Do you know how many times I've I've tried to invest time into this podcast and I've stopped because of fear, because of imposter syndrome? Because what if people don't like it? What if what if me sharing makes me so vulnerable and and people think negatively about me instead of the positive impact that I hope to share and hope to normalize in everyday motherhood and your wellness journey and your business journey, like all the things, like we're all in this together, and I just want you to feel like you're part of a community and part of a team where there is there's literally no judgment. I might like be a little honest with you and be like, hey sister, like we're kind of effing up here. We need to like maybe get it together a little bit and and maybe think a little bit differently and outside of the box. But at the end of the day, like I still really genuinely want you to walk away with value and to feel like you're part of a community. But my own imposter syndrome has stopped me. And I think so many times, man, if I could have, if I could have been open and honest about this from the beginning, and and my husband's been great, he's the he's the one that's believed in me the whole time. So he's always been part of that community. I don't like please don't think that he's ever doubted me because he he hasn't. Um, but also he works full-time, he's active duty, like we our life is busy, and so he's not always able, nor does he always have the capacity to be that full-time community support, and then enter, enter the chat Jennifer. And I met Jennifer, and there was just um, I don't it's funny because I I we're very different. She's very quiet, she's very reserved, and I am not, and so it just kind of makes me laugh like we're polar opposites, and and I don't know, like we just kind of over time became friends. Our boys are best friends. Um, and there was just something about the community vibe that we were able to create amongst each other that we were able to find purpose outside of motherhood in a good way. We were both, I think we both genuinely needed something to drive outside of motherhood. And and I genuinely don't think that I could have done it without the feeling of community within her. And I do believe that she feels the same way. Um, and not to like call her out publicly on a podcast. It's not what this is about, but it is it is genuinely about the importance of finding at least one person um to really be honest, but really truly create a community, and then maybe over time add another person, and then before you know it, you do have even a small group of people that you guys can just it's almost like having having private access to a mastermind. Do you know how powerful masterminds are? They are priceless to some extent because the advice that you can walk away with, the golden nuggets, it's not always about advice, it's not always about having the answers, but sometimes like hearing other people's struggles and then just simply hashing out those struggles together can can foster beautiful strategy, and it's crazy. It's really cool to watch happen and unfold in real time, but you don't do that, that doesn't happen unless you create that community in the first place. So that's I mean, I don't know, man. I that that's really where I'm at right now is find a community. And if you don't feel like you have a community, if you don't have people in your close network, so that this is another whole nother layer of this. If you don't have someone in your direct network, for me, it is very difficult because we move, we're military, and so moving around and feeling like you start over every single time, it does get really hard and really exhausting. And quite frankly, you get a little bit jaded. It's very difficult for me to want to become close to people because I just know, like, oh, you're gonna move anyways. Uh, this actually weirdly just happened. Like, I I've met this girl a while back, and I really like being around her. Like, she's a good time. And then I saw her make a post, and our husbands work um not directly together, but they work in the same clinic, and so they see each other. And and I really enjoy all their their family, their presence, all the things. And then I saw her post on Facebook that they had gotten orders because he um, anyways, it's a whole thing. And so they're they're moving in a couple months, and it was just this feeling of like, well, that was we had a good run, but I'm not gonna hang out with you anymore because I don't want to get closer to you and then be more sad when you leave. So, what I'm saying is there are other options outside of your local vicinity, right? Um, it's literally why I started the private community for the Mara Collective, so the software side of things is to create that mastermind environment. One, that's where I drop like training videos and all the things, right? So you have that aspect of it, you have the education purposes, but also if you can put, if you can create a room full of other like-minded individuals who are all dealing with the same struggle, they all have the same goals, but they all bring a little bit different things to the table. And you can mastermind that out, heck yeah, that's a freaking win. And it doesn't matter where you live, it doesn't matter what time zone you're in, you still get the benefit of it being a virtual mastermind, private community, whatever you want to call it. And then eventually the goal is to put on live um like weekend events, right? So weekend masterminds, where maybe I don't know, once a quarter, twice a year, I we'll see how this all plays out. Getting together in person is so much more powerful, but it doesn't change the fact that we all have like walk our walks of life somewhere separately, but we have this one commonality of our virtual mastermind, our virtual private community, all the things, and then we can get together in person when the time is right. The same lies on the health side. So I do hold private communities for the health side of things as well. And it may sound confusing that I have two different businesses and like do the same thing, but it it's because I run a wellness business, and that's what led to the software business. And so they kind of just they're under the same umbrella, but we serve two different peoples. We serve um the software side and the patient side and in the wellness side. So um, we have private communities for patients, and we have private communities for our software clients who are building their own wellness sides as well. But nonetheless, like we're all on the same walk of life, like we're all in the wellness space, we're all on health journeys, we're all struggling with something similar. So it just adds this layer of comfort knowing I'm not broken, I'm not, I'm not crazy, these struggles are real for everyone. How can we problem solve them so everyone benefits with the solution? So I I don't know. That's kind of what I got for you today. I hope that you enjoyed my unhinged mom hack of if you have dirty, rotten sink water, maybe just run some hot water in it until you can clean it later. Um, and also go find another mom. If you need a mom, I'm I'm your community. I'll be your community because I do unhinged things all the time. So feel free, feel free to join on either side. I will link both communities down below and you can check them out. Um if you are just a mom on the health side of things, that community is completely free. If you are a wellness coach interested in the software and the mastermind and all the benefits that come come with it, there is definitely a cost to it, but it's way lower than what it was costing me to run my business. So uh feel free to check both of them out depending on which side of the aisle you lie. I would love to have you. I would love to create connect community with you. I would love to share those journeys with you and your wins. And I want to be on the sideline cheering along with you every time you take 10 steps backwards. I would love to be on the sidelines with you every time you feel like you take 10 steps backwards or you fall down, we're gonna we're gonna sit for a second, we're gonna cry for maybe five minutes, and then we're gonna get back up and then we're gonna walk through that journey again. And again, and again, and again, until we are all just better humans, but we're better because we're doing it together. So I hope that this inspired you to go find your community. And if you already have a community, maybe shoot a text to people inside your network and say, Thanks for being part of my community. I don't know what I would do without you. Until next time, ladies, don't forget to be one strong mother.